TOP SECRET

I am so glad you are here. This may be one of the most important talks I have yet given. I have uncovered a GLOBAL CONSPIRACY of epic proportions. That's right, the underground cabal of EVIL alien koala-lizard hybrids are at it again.

What is their nefarious PLOT this time you ask? Are they stealing all the trees again? PROBABLY! Are they watching with us with their little beady eyes? ALWAYS! Are they entering my dreams to make me want to watch Anime all day? YES but irrelevant. 

Welllllll get this! They are BRAINWASHING us into thinking Argentinian Malbec does not all taste the same. 

That's right. Despite clear similarities, they are trying to convince us otherwise. But don't worry! I HAVE DONE MY OWN RESEARCH to expose this latest scheme.

By cross referencing gum leaf orientation with local ley lines I have found that the koala-lizards are sending out taste signals through hidden 6G towers made to look like gum trees altering our mouth mechanisms to think that Mendoza Malbecs have strong differences in taste. 

WAKE UP! The tannins. The terroir. The towers! It is all linked!

If you have ever thought "hmm yes I detect strong notes of blueberry in this one" WRONG! That is not your palate. That's the MIND CONTROL!

I will be back with more eucalyptus truth drops soon. In the meantime stay alert and don't trust your tongue.

- Blinky